Eclipse is coming! Eclipse is coming!
Since I've been taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I will make certain that no little 13-year old bitch gets in front of me at the box office...
& another!!!
This will be the day my husband calls me a creepy 20-something for thinking Taylor Lautner is super hot with his shirt off. I don't care!
Showing posts with label Stephanie Meyer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stephanie Meyer. Show all posts
4.24.2010
6.11.2009
Give Me... Trailer Reviews!!
Hells yes...
I retract my earlier statement about New Moon. I will be the first one in line pushing 12 year-old girls aside for my ticket.
I retract my earlier statement about New Moon. I will be the first one in line pushing 12 year-old girls aside for my ticket.
3.08.2009
Give Me... Movie Reviews!
Ok, so I'm a little behind on this one but I finally got around to seeing Twilight and boy was I let the f*** down!
WHAT?!
Ok, I get it. I know that movies are NEVER as good as the book, so I sat down to watch this move with that in mind. While the movie as a whole is expected to not be up to par, the acting totally sucked vampire balls. Rob Pattinson, you were fine. Kristen Stewart - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Not only do you bring no personality to Bella, you don't ever stop twitching!
What do you have turrets? An eyelash in your eye? Some weird twitching disease? What is wrong with you?
And would it kill you to be somewhat interesting in an interview? You bore me to sleep and are awfully obnoxious for someone so uninteresting. There should have been talk of recasting you instead of soon-to-be gay man idol Taylor Lautner. Although they should have replaced Taylor with this guy. Or this one.
Serisouly Kristen, a student in an acting 101 class at community college could act circles around you....... literally.
Oh and the director, Catherine Hardwick - thank you for not coming back for New Moon! Did you shoot this on a Handicam? Was that the reason for all the weird angles and sometimes shaky feeling?
I doubt I'll be watching New Moon when it comes out.
WHAT?!
Ok, I get it. I know that movies are NEVER as good as the book, so I sat down to watch this move with that in mind. While the movie as a whole is expected to not be up to par, the acting totally sucked vampire balls. Rob Pattinson, you were fine. Kristen Stewart - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Not only do you bring no personality to Bella, you don't ever stop twitching!
What do you have turrets? An eyelash in your eye? Some weird twitching disease? What is wrong with you?
And would it kill you to be somewhat interesting in an interview? You bore me to sleep and are awfully obnoxious for someone so uninteresting. There should have been talk of recasting you instead of soon-to-be gay man idol Taylor Lautner. Although they should have replaced Taylor with this guy. Or this one.
Serisouly Kristen, a student in an acting 101 class at community college could act circles around you....... literally.
Oh and the director, Catherine Hardwick - thank you for not coming back for New Moon! Did you shoot this on a Handicam? Was that the reason for all the weird angles and sometimes shaky feeling?
I doubt I'll be watching New Moon when it comes out.
1.04.2009
Damn You Stephanie Meyer!
Twilight got me hooked. I soon found myself enthralled by New Moon and Eclipse, the second and third installments in the Twilight Saga. I also found my fiance to be threatened by the relationship I had formed with these 500 + page books.
Not to worry, he isn't the only man suffering the backlash of the perfect Edward Cullen. A man in Borders yesterday saw I was holding Breaking Dawn in my hands and proceeds to tell me his wife is obsessed with those books. Clearly he needed to get something off his chest, but I wasn't about to be his on-the-spot therapist. So I smiled politely nodded my head and mumbled something about him never being able to understand Edward before I awkwardly ran off.
Let me get back to the main point of this entry, which is Stephanie Meyer has produced paper gold, or in my case, hard cover crack. Yesterday I decided that the 4 days that had passed since I finished Eclipse was already too long for me to wait to find out what happens with Bella and Edward, so I absolutely needed to buy the last book Breaking Dawn. I figured I would go to the Borders on 34th street since it was close to my work and because I had a coupon to Borders (whoo hoo!). I walked into the book store, my senses on high alert for a black hardcover book with a chess piece on the front. Found it! Actually I found the Stephanie Meyer display with Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse but no Breaking Dawn. I proceeded upstairs to the young adult section confidant I wold find my fix there.
I did not.
At this point I was almost in a panic, so I found an associate and she told me the horrible truth.
They were sold out.
Oh God.
What was I going to do? I had to be at work in 45 minutes. Could I make it to the Columbus Circle Borders and get back in time for work? No time for questions! I made a run for it (ok, a very brisk walk, but still - I was in a rush)
I rushed to the train and then waited. And waited some more. Fifteen dire minutes later the MTA got their shit together and a train came rolling into the station.
By the time I got out of the train and up to street level I was sweating and didn't care if I looked like an idiot running for Borders. So I did.
Hallelujah!
There it was in all its gloriousness. Breaking Dawn sitting right there on the Stephanie Meyer display. I grabbed it and this is when I had the awkward encounter with the man rambling on about how much his wife loved those books and how he doesn't read but watches Sports Center. (Uh, hello! Pick up a book and maybe your wife will be half involved with you as she is with Edward Cullen!) No time for small talk. I raced to the line and it moved quickly. Looking at my phone I figured I only had about 15 minutes to get to work so there was no time for small talk with the nice gay Asian man who was ringing me up. My coupon. Oh no. I couldn't' find it.
"I don't care about the coupon! Just ring me up!"
$24.83 later I ran for the subway got on the train and sat down enjoying the high that had just come with my great accomplishment. Ahhhhh......
Thanks again Stephanie Meyer, for making me become slightly insane in order to get a hold of this book. It's wonderful being "that girl" in NY running with an ankle length down jacket holding onto her knit hat, purse flailing about. Good times.
This last book better be worth it, but I have a feeling it already is.
Not to worry, he isn't the only man suffering the backlash of the perfect Edward Cullen. A man in Borders yesterday saw I was holding Breaking Dawn in my hands and proceeds to tell me his wife is obsessed with those books. Clearly he needed to get something off his chest, but I wasn't about to be his on-the-spot therapist. So I smiled politely nodded my head and mumbled something about him never being able to understand Edward before I awkwardly ran off.
Let me get back to the main point of this entry, which is Stephanie Meyer has produced paper gold, or in my case, hard cover crack. Yesterday I decided that the 4 days that had passed since I finished Eclipse was already too long for me to wait to find out what happens with Bella and Edward, so I absolutely needed to buy the last book Breaking Dawn. I figured I would go to the Borders on 34th street since it was close to my work and because I had a coupon to Borders (whoo hoo!). I walked into the book store, my senses on high alert for a black hardcover book with a chess piece on the front. Found it! Actually I found the Stephanie Meyer display with Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse but no Breaking Dawn. I proceeded upstairs to the young adult section confidant I wold find my fix there.
I did not.
At this point I was almost in a panic, so I found an associate and she told me the horrible truth.
They were sold out.
Oh God.
What was I going to do? I had to be at work in 45 minutes. Could I make it to the Columbus Circle Borders and get back in time for work? No time for questions! I made a run for it (ok, a very brisk walk, but still - I was in a rush)
I rushed to the train and then waited. And waited some more. Fifteen dire minutes later the MTA got their shit together and a train came rolling into the station.
By the time I got out of the train and up to street level I was sweating and didn't care if I looked like an idiot running for Borders. So I did.
Hallelujah!
There it was in all its gloriousness. Breaking Dawn sitting right there on the Stephanie Meyer display. I grabbed it and this is when I had the awkward encounter with the man rambling on about how much his wife loved those books and how he doesn't read but watches Sports Center. (Uh, hello! Pick up a book and maybe your wife will be half involved with you as she is with Edward Cullen!) No time for small talk. I raced to the line and it moved quickly. Looking at my phone I figured I only had about 15 minutes to get to work so there was no time for small talk with the nice gay Asian man who was ringing me up. My coupon. Oh no. I couldn't' find it.
"I don't care about the coupon! Just ring me up!"
$24.83 later I ran for the subway got on the train and sat down enjoying the high that had just come with my great accomplishment. Ahhhhh......
Thanks again Stephanie Meyer, for making me become slightly insane in order to get a hold of this book. It's wonderful being "that girl" in NY running with an ankle length down jacket holding onto her knit hat, purse flailing about. Good times.
This last book better be worth it, but I have a feeling it already is.
12.08.2008
Ahh, to feel 14 again...
So over the weekend, I finished reading Twilight. Yes, Twilight, the 500 page book that has taken the hormonal teenage girl world be storm. I haven't felt this giddy since N'SYNC came out with their holiday CD (sadly, I'm very serious). I couldn't put the book down, something about, um, falling in love with a fictional 90-year-old-posing-as-a-17-year-old vampire. What? That sounds ridiculous! Loving a man that's younger?! I know. It's crazy.
I do however have a bone to pick with Miss Stephanie Meyer.
Thanks a lot Miss Meyer, for creating a being so perfect it makes all real men pale in comparison (no pun intended, really). Imagine all the disappointed girls who begin dating only to find out men aren't really like that! Imagine all the disappointed women who are married, suddenly wishing they were sleeping next to a vampire instead of their own pathetic middle aged balding fat husband. Imagine all the disappointed gay men who know that Edward's heart (and rock hard body) belongs only to a woman. You know what Stephanie Meyer? You just set up generations of girls to be disappointed in their inevitable future interactions with the opposite sex. You just set up complete disappointment in women currently in a relationship!
You have effectively ruined any future romantic affairs for all teen girls and 20-somethings alike!
I will, Miss Stephanie Meyer, begin reading Midnight Sun. The version of Twilight from Edwards point of view, not because I want to, but because I am addicted. As an addict, I have no choice but to feed my thirst (pun intended) for your fictional being.
I do however have a bone to pick with Miss Stephanie Meyer.
Thanks a lot Miss Meyer, for creating a being so perfect it makes all real men pale in comparison (no pun intended, really). Imagine all the disappointed girls who begin dating only to find out men aren't really like that! Imagine all the disappointed women who are married, suddenly wishing they were sleeping next to a vampire instead of their own pathetic middle aged balding fat husband. Imagine all the disappointed gay men who know that Edward's heart (and rock hard body) belongs only to a woman. You know what Stephanie Meyer? You just set up generations of girls to be disappointed in their inevitable future interactions with the opposite sex. You just set up complete disappointment in women currently in a relationship!
You have effectively ruined any future romantic affairs for all teen girls and 20-somethings alike!
I will, Miss Stephanie Meyer, begin reading Midnight Sun. The version of Twilight from Edwards point of view, not because I want to, but because I am addicted. As an addict, I have no choice but to feed my thirst (pun intended) for your fictional being.
Thanks a lot Stephanie Meyer.
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