Give Me... Movie Reviews!

Ok, so I'm a little behind on this one but I finally got around to seeing Twilight and boy was I let the f*** down!

WHAT?!

Ok, I get it. I know that movies are NEVER as good as the book, so I sat down to watch this move with that in mind. While the movie as a whole is expected to not be up to par, the acting totally sucked vampire balls. Rob Pattinson, you were fine. Kristen Stewart - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Not only do you bring no personality to Bella, you don't ever stop twitching!

What do you have turrets? An eyelash in your eye? Some weird twitching disease? What is wrong with you?

And would it kill you to be somewhat interesting in an interview? You bore me to sleep and are awfully obnoxious for someone so uninteresting. There should have been talk of recasting you instead of soon-to-be gay man idol Taylor Lautner. Although they should have replaced Taylor with this guy. Or this one.

Serisouly Kristen, a student in an acting 101 class at community college could act circles around you....... literally.

Oh and the director, Catherine Hardwick - thank you for not coming back for New Moon! Did you shoot this on a Handicam? Was that the reason for all the weird angles and sometimes shaky feeling?


I doubt I'll be watching New Moon when it comes out.

Call Me Crazy...

My obsession over something hasn't been this enormous since Titanic, and the pang of jealousy my friend and I felt when we discovered a girl much more clever than ourselves had come up with the screen name "RoseDawson" (I really can't even make this up)

But after a very obsessive-compulsive addiciton to the Twilight Saga I decided I want to feel 14 again! So, I've done a little research and found this fan-freakin-tastic website.

My girlfriends and I have been talking about a get-away for just us three (don't judge me, so I only have two friends) and I'm seriously considering putting Forks, Washington on the table. I mean La Push looks nice enough for three 20-somethings to sit on the beach and watch the sunset. So it may be a little colder than the Caribbean that we've talked about. I'm sure we could handle it. We're New Yorkers for crying out loud!

I'm going to try with all the conniving and persuasive tricks I have up my sleeve to get a trip to Forks.

All I want to know is who's coming with me?

(photo via Forks Forum)

Ahh, to feel 14 again...

So over the weekend, I finished reading Twilight. Yes, Twilight, the 500 page book that has taken the hormonal teenage girl world be storm. I haven't felt this giddy since N'SYNC came out with their holiday CD (sadly, I'm very serious). I couldn't put the book down, something about, um, falling in love with a fictional 90-year-old-posing-as-a-17-year-old vampire. What? That sounds ridiculous! Loving a man that's younger?! I know. It's crazy.

I do however have a bone to pick with Miss Stephanie Meyer.

Thanks a lot Miss Meyer, for creating a being so perfect it makes all real men pale in comparison (no pun intended, really). Imagine all the disappointed girls who begin dating only to find out men aren't really like that! Imagine all the disappointed women who are married, suddenly wishing they were sleeping next to a vampire instead of their own pathetic middle aged balding fat husband. Imagine all the disappointed gay men who know that Edward's heart (and rock hard body) belongs only to a woman. You know what Stephanie Meyer? You just set up generations of girls to be disappointed in their inevitable future interactions with the opposite sex. You just set up complete disappointment in women currently in a relationship!

You have effectively ruined any future romantic affairs for all teen girls and 20-somethings alike!

I will, Miss Stephanie Meyer, begin reading Midnight Sun. The version of Twilight from Edwards point of view, not because I want to, but because I am addicted. As an addict, I have no choice but to feed my thirst (pun intended) for your fictional being.

Thanks a lot Stephanie Meyer.