A Letter to the Elderly

Dear Old People of New York City,

You are all really pissing me off. Let me begin by saying that I was raised the right way. I offer my seat on the subway or bus to seniors and pregnant women. I offer them to get on the subway car before me. I even smile nod and make small talk with those crazy ones out there seeking the smallest amount of human interaction.

But enough is enough!

I am sick of the shuffling old ladies trying to knock me down to get on the bus first. I am sick of old people telling me I can't exit the emergency exit on the platform when I'm late for work. If I really cared what the hell you had to say about the situation, I would ask your insane nosey ass.

But I do not!

Don't get me wrong seniors, I respect you. But as soon as you start pushing the envelope, getting nasty, nosey and butting in where you don't belong do not be surprised when I tell you where you can shove it. New York City isn't a place for the miserable and decrepit. So, stop wasting your breath and slow your roll. I'm going to let you on the bus first. I'm going to offer my seat to you, but if you get pushy, I'm gonna push right back.

Sincerely,
Nicky