This is the single greatest advertisement I've seen on Facebook.
Huh.
2.15.2009
2.12.2009
2.10.2009
A Visit to the Dentist: The New Gateway Drug
I know I've said this is the only reason I would have kids, but this is the other reason...
Fantastic. That's all there is to it. Fan-freakin-tastic!
Fantastic. That's all there is to it. Fan-freakin-tastic!
2.04.2009
The Cure for Lonliness? 14 Kids, Clearly!
The crazy bitch that just popped out a litter of babies last week is rumored to have been a "lonely" only child. She figured having 14 kids was the answer to her problems.
2.01.2009
Elizabeth Hasselback: Chronic Breeder
So distraught over the GOP loss back in November Elizabeth Hasselback is on a one woman mission to repopulate America with the next generation of republicans.
Fantastic. Now we'll have more republicans and dumb blonds.
Fantastic. Now we'll have more republicans and dumb blonds.
1.28.2009
Got $155,000 to blow? Clone Your Dog!
Why save a dog from the pound? Why buy a puppy from the local pet store? Because instead you can spend a ridiculous amount of money on cloning your dead dog!
Do what the old rich white people do! Clone your pets!
What recession? $155,000 is a small price to pay when your days on earth are numbered and you're looking for unconditional love from something that can't talk back to you.
1.27.2009
"Wha chu mean I no espeak a whyte?"
Some parents raise their children to reach for the stars and dream big. Some parents encourage their children to attain their full potential and tell them they can be "whatever they want to be."
This was obviously the case for this piece of work.
What the hell is wrong with this trashy-ass-drag-queen look-alike?
You mean your dream isn't to live uneducated and in poverty, pregnant living off tax payer money? Girl yo dreams' is big!
Here's my opinion.
You didn't get the job not because you didn't sound "white" but probably because you sounded uneducated.
You didn't get the job not because you're "ghetto" but because your brown lip liner and frosted lipstick screams 1996.
You didn't get the job not because you don't look good in a bikini.... er.... well actually, that picture of you in the Daily News does scream "Bad photoshopping! Check out the jagged contour of my waist! I'm not that thin!"
So Miss Morales I'm sure there's some brains in that pretty little head of yours, put it to good use.
This was obviously the case for this piece of work.
What the hell is wrong with this trashy-ass-drag-queen look-alike?
"It was kind of like my dream to work at the [Hawaiian Tropic Zone],"
-Morales
WHAT?!?!
You mean your dream isn't to live uneducated and in poverty, pregnant living off tax payer money? Girl yo dreams' is big!
Here's my opinion.
You didn't get the job not because you didn't sound "white" but probably because you sounded uneducated.
You didn't get the job not because you're "ghetto" but because your brown lip liner and frosted lipstick screams 1996.
You didn't get the job not because you don't look good in a bikini.... er.... well actually, that picture of you in the Daily News does scream "Bad photoshopping! Check out the jagged contour of my waist! I'm not that thin!"
So Miss Morales I'm sure there's some brains in that pretty little head of yours, put it to good use.
A Letter to the Elderly
Dear Old People of New York City,
You are all really pissing me off. Let me begin by saying that I was raised the right way. I offer my seat on the subway or bus to seniors and pregnant women. I offer them to get on the subway car before me. I even smile nod and make small talk with those crazy ones out there seeking the smallest amount of human interaction.
But enough is enough!
I am sick of the shuffling old ladies trying to knock me down to get on the bus first. I am sick of old people telling me I can't exit the emergency exit on the platform when I'm late for work. If I really cared what the hell you had to say about the situation, I would ask your insane nosey ass.
But I do not!
Don't get me wrong seniors, I respect you. But as soon as you start pushing the envelope, getting nasty, nosey and butting in where you don't belong do not be surprised when I tell you where you can shove it. New York City isn't a place for the miserable and decrepit. So, stop wasting your breath and slow your roll. I'm going to let you on the bus first. I'm going to offer my seat to you, but if you get pushy, I'm gonna push right back.
Sincerely,
Nicky
You are all really pissing me off. Let me begin by saying that I was raised the right way. I offer my seat on the subway or bus to seniors and pregnant women. I offer them to get on the subway car before me. I even smile nod and make small talk with those crazy ones out there seeking the smallest amount of human interaction.
But enough is enough!
I am sick of the shuffling old ladies trying to knock me down to get on the bus first. I am sick of old people telling me I can't exit the emergency exit on the platform when I'm late for work. If I really cared what the hell you had to say about the situation, I would ask your insane nosey ass.
But I do not!
Don't get me wrong seniors, I respect you. But as soon as you start pushing the envelope, getting nasty, nosey and butting in where you don't belong do not be surprised when I tell you where you can shove it. New York City isn't a place for the miserable and decrepit. So, stop wasting your breath and slow your roll. I'm going to let you on the bus first. I'm going to offer my seat to you, but if you get pushy, I'm gonna push right back.
Sincerely,
Nicky
1.20.2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
