3.29.2010

Totally Saw This Coming...

Guess I was right 10 years after my first speculation...






Is it really so shockero People en Espanol? Really?

3.26.2010

Just What Hollywood is Missing... 3-D Boobies

We all know Heidi Montag has lost her shit. But this time, I think she needs an intervention; a don't-you -know-psychics-can't-manage-your-"career"-and-nobody-wants-a-movie-starring-your-3D boobs?


Yes. Heidi Montag wrote a screen play in which she is the lead who plays a life guard named Summer. Oh and the mayor of the beach town is Dolly Parton. Oh and it's in 3-D. Oh and when I sad Heidi is the lead, I meant her triple D tata's.
(photo via anythinghollywood.com)

I give her 6 months before she's writing a "screen play" in which she has sex with that god-awful blond bearded thing she calls her husband.


3.11.2010

Betty-est Day Ever!

"Now that over 480,000 Facebook fans have put in their request, Betty White will finally make an appearance on 'Saturday Night Live."

(source: PopEater.com)





My day just got a bagillion times better


May 8th - get ready to almost die from laughter

3.07.2010

Give Me... *OSCAR* Movie Reviews!

So tonight is the Oscars, and I am sitting here watching it, appreciating the hilarity brought forth by the only two men I would ever consider leaving my husband for, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. I didn't see all of the best movie nominees, but I saw a few, so here is the only review you ever need to pay any attention to!



Avatar
I saw this in 3-D and apparently unlike the rest of the world, I do not enjoy a 3 hour movie in 3-D. That doesn't mean I didn't like the movie, I actually LOVED it. It was beautiful, touching and pretty much really f**king cool to watch. The acting was great, especially by that Zoe Saldana (who I want to hate because she's so friggin pretty, but can't seem to dislike because she's also adorable) My very few complaints? Too long! the other thing, Jake Sully (Sam Worthignton) had some of the cheesiest lines, like laughable really. Overall, it was a really great movie, go see it, spend the money, it's totally worth it.

Up In The Air

Are you kidding me?!?! This should have been nominated for a Razzie! WORST MOVIE EVER! When I meet George Clooney, I'm asking for a refund, he's now on the list along with Brad Pitt. The movie was slow and boring. Yeah ok, I get it Jason Reitman, the economy sucks, people are getting laid off. Why then should I go to the theater and pay $13 to watch it?! I'll just turn on the news! I want someone to comment on this post and tell me why I'm wrong because it was painful to watch. My husband FELL ASLEEP! The one good thing? George Clooney's line:

"I stereotype because it's faster" that line my dear friends is brilliant.
That was the only good thing about this film. Really wait for it on cable.





District 9
I had no idea what this movie was supposed to be about when I put it in the DVD palyer, but I soon found out. It's shot documentary style which is awesome because the story is really told so much better. You can't help but side with these aliens and think that the baby one is so cute! Some people on my facebook news feed got a little carried away with the "meaning" behind the film. Yeah, anyone with a brain can figure it out, you're not a genius for making the observation but thanks anyway. Nice try.



UP
What an adorable movie. Should it have been nominated for best picture? No, but it was a really cute story, but again, a little too long, even though it was only an hour and half, it felt longer.
Cute movie, but no Wall-E.


Inglourious Bastards
I can't fairly review this movie, because I can't stand Quentin Tarantino or anything that he makes (yes even Kill Bill, so shoot me)
I will say that I hated Brad Pitt in this and I could not buy B.J. Novak as a nazi killer, he should stick to the office. Oh and Eli Roth, seriously? Your face on the screen makes me want to go into a violent rage and kill the screen on which you appear. Please, do not try to "act" I'm embarassed for you. Really.


I didn't see the other Best Picture nominees Precisous, The Blind Side, The Hurt Locker, An Education or A Serisous Man. I've heard The Hurt Locker is fantastic and Katherine Bigelow should win best director. I hope she does, because I'm sick of james Cameron!

3.05.2010

What's a Haiku You Ask?

Well I'll tell you....

It's a poem. Three lines. First line 5 syllables, second line 7 syllables and third line 5 syllables.
5-7-5.


"But Nicky, this isn't funny" you say


I know. I'm just making a point, a very important point. That point is: just because you are a professor, does not mean that you are always correct. And when I am right, don't tell me I am wrong. That said here is my story from my Cognitive Psychology class this morning:

Freiden-douche: What's a haiku?
Nicky: It's a three line poem whose syllables are 5-7-5
Freiden-douche: Actually it's 7-5-7
Nicky: I don't think so
Freiden-douche: Actually it is, I know. I write haiku, and am trying to get them published, so...

So, so maybe they're not published because you are WRONG! Geeze you weird artificial intelligence robot-loving, creepy eye starring, looks-like-a-thin-Ben-from-LOST; do your research:
Here's a haiku just for you Freiden-douche:

Oh what do you think
That you know how to haiku?
I don’t think you do

(Check out those syllables bitch)

3.01.2010

"What's Shiatsu?"

"I don't know, probably another word for happy ending"

-a typical conversation between me and my husband