Brother Ray: If you could dine with anyone in the world, living or deceased, who would it be?
Me: Well, it's really a toss up between Alec Baldwin and Jesus.

>awkward silence<

Jewish on Christmas

There's no other day during the year to remind the Jewish community that they are indeed Jewish, and as a result, a minority in this country. America shuts down, and even on the Upper West Side the restaurant pickins' ain't what they normally are.

Since only my father's side of the family is of chosen blood, I celebrated the birth of Christ with a nice sushi dinner on the Upper West Side where I was sure to be surrounded by other half-bloods and pure breeds.

The UWS did not disappoint. The Jews flowed freely in and out of the sushi restaurant as if they hadn't' a care in the world (except apparently what table they should be seated at, as proved by 3 consecutive parties who could not decide on a table in an unusually empty restaurant). Does it suck to be Jewish on Christmas?

No.

I'd like to offer a little prayer for all the half Jews and regular Jews alike:

Dear Baby Jesus,

Thank you for being born Jewish

Too bad not many people take that into consideration when celebrating your birth.

מודה אני לפניך מלך חי וקיים שהחזרת בי נשמתי בחמלה, רבה אמונתך.‏
(don't forget to read it right to left!)

Ok, so it's not really a prayer, but whatever, you get the point.

la'haim!