June 30th, Watch the F@#K Out!

Eclipse is coming! Eclipse is coming!

Since I've been taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I will make certain that no little 13-year old bitch gets in front of me at the box office...



& another!!!


This will be the day my husband calls me a creepy 20-something for thinking Taylor Lautner is super hot with his shirt off. I don't care!

20 Year Old Hayden Panettiere Mistaken for 63 Year Old Hillary Clinton

Just because you're dating someone who could be your grandpa, doesn't mean you have to look like a grandma.

Finally, Porn in Braille for the Blind!

The best line in here is...

"Turns out he's gay and I was giving him nude women to explore"

Yeah, I'm sure that's why he wasn't turned on by the braille porn, because they were women, not because it's a weird raised piece of paper. Great journalism. Keep it up CNN

Well, if Sarah Palin Can (Sorta) Do It...

Then why not a 19 year old?

Just Call Yourselves Iranian!

WTF?

Maybe it's because I'm a New Yorker, and here, people are straight up with their nationality. Maybe it's because I can only picture the big creepy pierced guy from the movie 300, but when someone says they're Persian, I don't fucking get it. Why?

Serisously, please enlighten me.

The first time I went out to LA and someone told me they were Persian I stopped, looked around, and then realized I wasn't in the Middle East in 550 BCE

Anyway, to make matters worse (as if not tying yourself to your 'motherland' by hiding behind some cat name isn't bad enough) MTV is making the Persian Version of the Jersey Shore.

I've said it before, I'll say it again:

"Persians" and Guidos are exactly the same!

They both dress like bejeweled douchedicks.

The chicks always have straight black hair that's much too long and they wear too much make-up.

They all drive Beamers and Benzs

They are all way too proud.

Here's a tip for both Persians and Guido's alike:

If you think you're so down with being Italian or Iranian, go back to the country from where your ancestors are. See what they think of you.

Stiff Hips = In Vitro Fertilization

I guess we all now know why Kate needed some extra help conceiving her litter... look at how stiff her hips are!

What Service

For all the mean services, you have to pay full price.